Crying

"Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hearts."        
                                                                                -Charles Dickens, Great Expectations


Maybe right, maybe just a poetic expression. But I have always felt crying out loud as soothing, giving an outlet to all the emotions that is pent up inside. Just throwing it all out, cursing, verbally abusing sometimes as well. Well more often cursing myself, which, mind you, is very unhealthy.

For me, I keep everything bottled up inside, never sharing, not talking to anyone what I was feeling. But, in my defence, I had nobody to share with. An unsympathetic husband, a father I was never close to, mother, who always blames me saying you are like this since childhood, a problematic child now a problematic person. 

So, when I had enough, I just let it all out through my eyes. I shout, band my hands, beat my chest. But the sinking feeling, the frightening storm inside my head, the hopelessness, the loneliness, the injustice of it all, the constricting nauseating feelings. I had to let it out.

Thus, I cried. Feeling the tension ebbing out of me. Feeling drained out. Regaining some sense, my bearing, feeling solid ground again beneath my feet. The willingness to get up again and go on about. 

So, crying is good. I know nobody will get why are you crying ( but again when had anyone understood), but still cry. Cry whenever you are feeling overwhelmed, uneasy, lonely, feelings like the world is out to get you or nobody gets you. Just cry and feel the temporary relief.

As Shakespeare famously said in ‘King Henry, the Sixth’, “ To weep is to make less the depth of grief.”