How to reach out to people, how to connect when they know you but doesn’t understand you. How you make them understand how you are feeling at that moment. They all will give advices, but at that moment you don’t need advice you need their warmth. And that one person whose warmth you seek desperately but he leaves you alone in that cold dark place where he has himself lead you.
How do you pick up the phone and call people. Despite such a huge call list you have no friend nobody to talk to, not a soul to reach out. You are all alone, you are very scared and afraid. You don’t know what to do. How to remove that poisonous dart embedded into your mind and heart and soul.
I know I am drowning, I desperately need to call somebody to talk to them. Cry my heart out in front of them. Let their warm words console me. I don’t want anybody to get me, just hear me out. Just be with me. Just hold my hand. Just change the color from black.
Today I had the courage to call my cousin atleast text him. You know what, he is a doctor and I am so proud of him, serving people in this tough time. But today I resent his job. Today I want him to be with me, there for me.
To have him back because I feel to have lost him. This is also one of the reason of the onset of my depression, as I have slowly started to understand. I want to be ok. I want to fight when I know nobody is there for me. Nobody would understand why I am crying. Hell, even I don’t know why the hell am I crying.
I need to call people to let them in. Give them candle and ask them to lit it, even they don’t understand why they are doing it. I need people to come and make them be there for me.
Call people, reach out, have them come, share with them.
“ You can’t stand in your corner of the forest, waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.” - Winnie the Pooh
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